A work of art ….or rather GJ’s rant on a work of art if you prefer it ….

On a serious note though, this particular blog written at this particular time, is dedicated to a special friend of mine who has been going through the mill so to speak, and is not yet out of the woods. I have it on great authority that she has a chuckle or three at my ramblings …and as she is due to have an operation next week, I felt it best to to proceed now and avoid any ensuing problems post surgery such as bursting of stitches ! So off I go …..

Actually all I really need to do is post the following, no description is required….

I mean you can clearly see what it is, so I could just as well go on to discuss the price of French bread, tell you how fantastic the Millau Bridge is, or even tell you why I’m appearing to talk about things to do with France ! But I don’t think that’s what you! read my blog for is it? No …of course not ! so I am going to discuss the above work of art further …

Let’s be honest, if I stuck a banana to a white board with duct tape, and took it to my local art gallery for sale , I’m guessing at best I’d be directed to the green grocer’s two doors down …and at worst be sectioned and sent for psychiatric treatment . ( I wanted to say the funny farm but I’m guessing you can’t say that now ….)

However the art world has finally gone stark raving bonkers ….this picture of a banana stuck to a wall with silver duct tape has just sold for $6.2 million at a Sotheby’s auction in New York . The title of this beautiful piece is “Comedian,” ( you couldn’t make it up could you …rather “Lunatic” ) and was put together by an Italian artist I’ve never heard of and who I my opinion has no talent whatsoever. As for the nutter who has paid out for this …they have more money than sense !

Now the cost could be so high, because I understand that this “ piece” comes with instructions……stay with me, I know this is pretty hard to believe but trust me on this ….as to how to replace the banana 🍌 . I am struggling to write this because it is utterly farcical …I mean you would have to be a complete fool not to know how to replace the banana, wouldn’t you? Surely it’s quite simple ….

1. Lift up one end of duct tape
2. Remove brown over ripe banana ( put it in freezer if it’s gone too far, it’ll make good banana bread
3. Buy yellow banana
4. Put back on board and replace duct tape
5. Better still forget the whole miserable piece that pertains to be art, eat said banana, throw duct tape away and use white board for your shopping list !
6. Go and lie down in a darkened room and try and work out why you were so stupid in the first place to pay all that money and what on Earth induced you to do so

What is the matter with people I ask myself? Again ..is it me??? Anyway c’est la vie ….apparently….

Now I’ll show you a real work of art …well eventually 😉….bear with me ….. let me explain where I’ve been for the past six weeks…the DB and I were in Spain ( where the work of art is !) and we are currently in transit on our way home , staying near the Millau Bridge ( where I’m blogging from!) in France en route via Belgium to Angleterre. Needless to say any burglars reading this ….beware! we left Grandma in charge so enter at your peril 😉

Just to give you an idea of our current surroundings…we crossed this ‘ bridge’ today ….

You know how I like to seem informative at times ….well as of October 2023, the Millau Bridge or Viaduct is the tallest bridge in the world having a structural height of 343 metres (1,125 ft)….the view from the car wasn’t so spectacular!

Back to our Spanish work of art ( cost €140 if you’re interested …though would be tricky to buy it I guess …you’d have to buy the house too 🙄 but hey still far less than $6.2 million …and if I say so myself, more pleasing to the eye, and doesn’t go off and need replacing 🙄)

The background to this of course is that water from our drains was seeping into our neighbours house 🙈🙈and so over the Summer we had work done to replace and repair our drain …….

Of course the tiles we have are no longer made ( and to boot they’re an odd size 🙄) so the guy at the tile shop suggested a mosaic , and that is what we did ! Raffi was born …a splendid work of art !

Now Sotheby’s can eat their heart out with bananas and the like ( whilst raking in their commission !!!) I have actually had dealings with Bonham’s art department about a real work of art …have I told you about this? No, …goodness I don’t believe I have 🙄!! Well here’s a tale of real art …me and my erotic drawing, Dear Reader….no, not me drawing erotic art, or worse someone drawing of me in an indelicate pose .

I’m thinking I should perhaps give a warning like they do on the telly box if something to be shown might be offensive …okay I will . If you might be offended I apologise…don’t look closely at the picture below . Thank you ( and box ticked ✅)

Let me explain ….this was left to me, along with the rest of my aunt’s house contents when she died. My father’s sister was a spinster and a Quaker . She campaigned tirelessly against nuclear weapons…remember Greenham Common ? You don’t???well of course not …you’re too young – so look up CND / women/Greenham Common on the lovely Mr Google and you’ll find out . She was also a strong supporter of the anti..apartheid movement in South Africa and the free Nelson Mandela campaign. We had, and still have family living in South Africa …so my aunt was well informed about the situation. I’m relieved to say our family were very against the brutal apartheid regime and in their own ways kicked hard against it. Anyway that is for another day …back to the drawing ! I thought it was a symbol of black and white unity ( well as it happens it was 🙄🙄 but naively, thought they were playing rugby )

It shows, I think, how much notice I took of this picture. It was in a box in the spare bedroom wardrobe!!! One day I was in “ clearing out mode” and retrieved it …to be honest I didn’t like the framing of it otherwise I might have had it hanging in the hall….can you imagine ??? Well, I suppose it would have a conversation starter ….or maybe stopper 🤣🤣

Anyway back to clearing out ….it was off to the charity shop ! Then the DB noticed that on the back of the picture, there was a handwritten letter to my aunt , along with the front page of an auction catalogue solely selling works by renowned artist Duncan Grant …certainly not renowned by me ! The plot thickened!

So we looked him up and it appears that Duncan Grant was a member of the Bloomsbury Group – this was a group of associated British writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists founded in the early 20th century. Their works and outlook deeply influenced literature, aesthetics, criticism and economics as well as modern attitudes towards feminism, pacifism and sexuality ! Whilst he was a talented artist in all sorts of genres, his name is often associated with erotic drawings ….in fact 400 of his drawings, thought to have been lost or destroyed, were discovered hidden under a mattress !!! Of course at the time the group were active, homosexuality was illegal and not decriminalised until 1967 in England …he was Scottish and it took till 1980 for it to become legal in Scotland….therefore all erotic penning had to be out of sight and hidden.

Anyway, having established the supposed artist’s legitimacy, we then had to decide whether this drawing I had in my possession was an original ! It looked to have been drawn on a page from a wire bound notebook …you could see where the page had been torn out !

Then I looked closer and saw what I thought was a 5 3. “ No good , it’s a print… number 53” I said to the DB, who promptly looked at it . “ You’ve got it upside down ( there really is no hope for me!!) …turn it round and look again …it’s ‘DG’” Try it …zoom in to the faint signature ( well initials bottom right hand corner…)

With that, we started to seek professional advice …and found that Bonham’s had a sale of his works coming up ..so we sought their opinion. We took it up to their nearest office and left it …I think at this point I realised the true significance of the picture 🙈🙈🙈! I should say the handwritten letter stated that the author ( clearly a good friend of my aunt) had bought this for her because they knew she loved his work, and wanted to buy her a token of gratitude for her friendship over the years. I suppose I am still astonished that there was a part ( possibly the main part) of my aunt’s life that I never knew …..

Anyway, my drawing was indeed one of Duncan Grant’s erotic masterpieces …rugby players my foot 🙄🙄, and a work of art to boot! It sold at auction for more than was estimated , and now hangs on someone’s wall ….who’s I have no idea, but at least it is someone who will love and appreciate it 😘 🤔

Gosh, is that the time? I’ve gone on longer than I intended – what a surprise !! Anyway , must dash ….I’ve an idea of something I could do with a grape and a piece of double sided sticky tape 😉😉

Until the next time …….