Dear Burglar ……

Not a usual title , I agree ( nor if I’m honest my original title of choice which was “And the big knickers are on…”- more on that later !) …but having spent the weekend before I left Grandma in charge ….again…

I wanted to point out to any potential burglars that prior to leaving, I had made sure the bedding was clean, all the towels were fresh and the house left spick and span. Just in case you decided to drop by Mr ( or Mrs or anyone in between) Burglar- I wouldn’t want you to think we lived in a mucky home now, would I?! So if you do call – and beware Grandma is not as innocent as she looks …black belt in Karate don’t you know 😉!- please leave it just as you found it … there’s good burglars ! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Now where was I – ah yes…..big knickers and the wearing of ! Metaphorically speaking you understand ( there is absolutely no need for you Dear Reader to have any insight into my underwear!!!) No, in this instance, I refer to the indication of being brave …which I had to be, because our trip over here ( which is where we are now…) involved not one night on the ferry , but two! Unthinkable a couple of years ago – I think I may have told you that thirty six and a half years ago I was on a similar ferry when the “ Michael Fish” moment happened ………no idea what I’m talking about?? Oh you weren’t born then 🙄🙄🙄Well, Michael Fish was a popular weather forecaster back in 1987, and during one forecast he infamously said “ Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC ( other broadcasters are available 😉) and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way ….well if you’re watching, don’t worry, there isn’t!” Needless to say the ensuing storm that hit the UK has been considered the worst in 300 years …… so where was I ? On the Bay of Biscay …. on a ferry, in a cabin (thank goodness) with my then husband, our two and a half year old son ….oh, and I was six months pregnant ! Within twenty minutes of leaving Santander we were both seasick ( and we had never suffered with sea sickness before) … okay so give Micheal Fish his due , he did say it might be a bit windy in Spain 🙄🙄 …..every twenty minutes to be precise throughout the entire crossing . Now at some point during this time, I decided to go and seek help …. in the form of a magic tablet I hoped . So this meant venturing out of the cabin – which meant meticulous planning and perfect timing ( I will elaborate no further) …. even more so as my poor husband at the time said he could not be left with a small child 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Timed to perfection, I left the cabin with small boy in arms – the area outside our cabin was empty ….bar a seafaring sort talking to A N Other. “ Excuse me “ said I “ is there anything you could give me to stop the sea sickness?” Seafaring sort looks at me ( he must have seen small boy in my arms) and says “ What you need is a cup of tea from the cafeteria!” Now a cup of tea from any cafeteria has never really filled me with enthusiasm … but on that day in that place ….. even less so , particularly when I realised he meant for me to go to said cafeteria , and get my own cup of tea………I’ll leave the logistics of all that that entailed to your imagination, it was a complete non – starter…….suffice to say that I returned to the cabin ….just in time 🥴🥴🥴 Interestingly though , that small boy in arms, now nearly thirty nine, remembers leaving the cabin and talking to the seafaring bloke !!!

Now perhaps you understand why I needed big knickers this time…I’ve mastered the one night crossing, but two ??? ! In all seriousness, it has taken time for my fear of the crossing to subside … but I don’t give sea sickness a chance now and take medication prior to embarkation. Two nights……. no problem 😉

Enough now …you need pictures …and as it happens we arrived here at the perfect time for pictures….Las Fallas 2024 ! This Valencian festivity is held annually from March 14 th to March 19 th to symbolise the coming of Spring. It is a festival of fire and fun! and originates from an old carpenter’s tradition of burning pieces of wood that they used to prop their lights up in winter (on the day before St Joseph’s day ..March 19 th .. he is the patron Saint of carpenters) . They added other bits and pieces to the bonfire and this gave a human appearance to the structure — move forward to the present day and the statues are very human indeed and all have a very satirical meaning …..let’s have a look at a few

Beautiful don’t you think ? For four days only , then whooooosh up in flames they both go! I suppose the bonus is that these were judged the best out of the seven around the town and given first prize ! This mean they had a stay of execution and were burnt last ….in the early hours of Wednesday 20 th March , but burnt even so ! I won’t go into precise details of the burnings – but you can see that these statues are not built in open areas away from other buildings, and ours in particular are very close to apartment blocks. Health and Safety in the UK would never even contemplate this. Here, however, the attitude is “ it’s going to happen , so make it as safe as you can!” Prior to each burning the fire brigade must be present…and where the statues are perilously close to apartment blocks, the external walls are drenched before the fire is lit !

Fireworks are also an enormous part of the Fallas celebration, and for the six days , the streets are full of the sounds of bangs and cracks from all degrees of incendiary devices from simple poppers through to great big bangers …. Does anyone remember Jumping Jacks, a firework I remember from my childhood . Terrible things they were ….once lit, their line of travel was indeterminate and they would seemingly chase you wherever you ran 🙈🙈

At 2 pm each afternoon they have the “ Mascaletas” ……a ten minute firework display 🎆🎇…..ah, but the astute of you will realise that at 2 pm it is broad daylight ….. so the purpose of this display is not the beautiful lights/ displays/ colours and anything else you may associate with your typical firework display! No Dear Reader, the purpose of this display is NOISE …..for the full ten minutes and the louder the better ….. you know the sort ( well maybe you don’t…) but the sort of noise that resonates and thunders inside your chest 🙄🙄

Anything else I should tell you ? I’ve left the best I think, till last ……the Falleras. Who are they, you ask? The Fallas festival is organised each year by a committee of volunteers, and the Falleras are really the equivalent of the festival Queen. Each area has an overall Queen for the adult Falleras ( Fallera Mayor) and one for the children (Fallera Mayor Infantil) . This is a highly treasured position to hold and to be nominated for …but all the Falleras are proud to wear the costumes they do … have a look .

Goodness ….I’ve been writing for ages … so much for writer’s block 🙄I’m aware I haven’t written since Christmas …it seems you are no longer spared Dear Reader , I haven’t really even started to tell you what I wanted to tell you …I had knickers and religion on my list 😉😉wow, that’ll keep you in suspense 😂😂😂- it will all have to wait till next week ! I’ll have even more to tell you then….. last night was the start of our Semana Santa here ( or Easter week ) so……! Have a good week …I’m going to leave you with a favourite photo I saw on Facebook …very appropriate for us….