For some maybe ……..but not for this particular individual! For a start there’s at least 5 km to be covered by yours truly – okay, so I can kill the proverbial two birds again by dragging Millie along with me ! Trust me, no dragging required – she may be on the wrong side of 11 but she is still remarkably spritely ( particularly when she’s sees a friend ( human) in the distance who always has a biscuit for her!)

I am relieved of cooking duties today though – we are going out for lunch to meet up with family – however I got a nasty shock when I looked up the venue and menu! The first thing that came up was “The Festive Menu” …..not the best thing to see first thing on a Sunday morning in March! What? Christmas – that can’t be right – surely they are not trying to get ahead of the game , they haven’t even had Mother’s Day yet . No , I suspect their Happiness Engineer hasn’t got round to updating the website ……..

Enough …let’s take you on our walk …

We really are so lucky to have such easy and pleasant walks on our doorstep – not the Tour de France today ! We met some runners , a fair number of riders and plenty of dog walkers…..

This is part of the Trans Penine Trail- a long distance path running from coast to coast across Northern England and forms part of the European Walking Route and National Cycle Network . However, as my experience on Thursday revealed there are some Lycra clad cyclists who believe the trail is theirs to ride as they wish. So signs have been erected asking people to “ Share with care” – clearly either some cyclists are illiterate or , they are riding so fast they miss that message! Today though, we all managed to share very nicely I’m pleased to report!

One feature of the Yorkshire countryside are the miles of dry stone walls which create boundaries showing land ownership and are a means of containing livestock.

With 6 km under our belts we got home, had a well deserved cup of coffee to warm up and got ready for the next part of the day!

Now today’s walk was carefully planned as we were going to watch Ross ( number 2 in our 4 children) play tag rugby for the Yorkshire Roses over 40’s team at 1 pm – but you know too well about the best made plans of mice and men…..indeed they went wayward because to my delight, our granddaughter came to stay ! So I was faced with a dilemma. What to do re my Saturday walk? (bearing in mind we were all going to go to watch the rugby) Millie needed a walk before we left ; I needed to complete my 5 km ( if I hadn’t done so before I have to walk the best part of 15 times round a rugby pitch) hence hands full ! …….solution , take granddaughter plus bicycle, plus dog and yours truly , drive to trans Penine trail ( ok we live within walking distance of said trail but give me some slack , surely you agree it is too much for me to walk up a hill with dog plus granddaughter plus bicycle ….) and bob’s your uncle ( trust me…)

Encouragement was the key ……we arrived at Thurgoland Tunnel ….,

And there we were ready to turn around and go back from whence we had come !

Lo and behold on arrival back at the car – 5 km had been walked cycled and pushed ! Altogether, proverbially speaking, two birds killed with one stone ! Millie exercised and 5 km completed – but all with great fun and laughter!!!!

We arrived in time to watch the tag rugby – what a sport, whoever knew ……

Just one observation… the team the Yorkshire Roses we’re playing seemed to be at a disadvantage…..,,,serious beer bellies ……just saying 😜

Who knows what tomorrow will bring ….can’t wait to find out !!!

Si thee……

Today’s walk is a favourite of mine – possibly because it always finishes in the Bank View Cafe or as I call it, the Spotty Dog cafe, with a delicious bacon buttie and a cup of coffee. Also because I walk it with the same friend every time ! It takes us around Langsett Reservoir situated on the edge of the Peak District National Park – through woodlands and over moorland ..

The weather was kind to us as we ploughed forwards – some harder than others ( okay well I had to stay behind to take that photo…) Strangely there were very few humans in evidence but the cackle of geese on the reservoir kept us company . As we exited the woods we crossed over one of Millie’s favourite spots and progressed upwards towards the moors with spectacular views of the reservoir….

Up here the cackle of geese had been replaced by the “ha” “ hahahahaha” of the red grouse – a sound described as that of a jolly sort of fellow who likes a belly laugh.

Personally I didn’t feel this particular bird was either jolly or in the mood for a belly laugh….He seemed very upset that we were anywhere in his vicinity though we had no intention of going anywhere nearer! No matter we continued bravely on !

Two striking points to note here – the very astute of you will see in the distance what look like vehicles , and indeed they were because that is the Woodhead Pass which is a major road connecting South Yorkshire and Greater Manchester traversing the Pennine Hills . The other is the burnt ground on which yours truly is standing. Moorland fires have been a real problem this year because of the continued dry conditions …. who knows how they start but I’ve got a very good idea . As we walked a little further on there on the floor was a cigarette butt ( did you know it takes at least 14 years for those to degrade ) … I mean, is it me??? Why on earth would you want to smoke a cigarette whilst out in the beautiful clean air of the moors? A recipe for disaster ! Some folk don’t have the sense they were born with … on reflection maybe they weren’t born with any in the first place …numpties.

Now I had hoped to photograph some lambs to show you Dear Reader … however I realised that whereas farm sheep are lambing now ( they have the protection of the fields and the farmer) these moorland sheep will lamb later to give the lambs a better chance of survival on the wild moors. Do not fear , I will find lambs to photograph …..

As we neared the end of the walk – bacon buttie in mind ….Millie got her water fix . When she gets really muddy( and she does) people suggest I might give her a warm shower ……rubbish, cold water is fine, she lies down in water of any temperature, almost the colder the better! Garden hose makes a brilliant shower!

So the culmination of the walk …..bacon buttie and hot coffee! You can’t beat it – I’ll leave you with the following thought ….for me there is no truer saying 💕💕💕

It certainly isn’t ! Today’s walk was supposed to be uneventful…yet before I’d reached my destination I’d heard how an embrocation for piles had melted a hole in the fabric of several pairs of boxer shorts – I mean what on earth does said medication do to the affected body part. My eyes are still watering from that thought! Then further along I’d been discussing the delights of a lemon posset …….the excitement of living here 😉😉

Before you howl with laughter let me tell you the “Pen” is pronounced as the writing implement – that should have pulled you up sharp! It is thought the name came from the Old English for farm/village – “ tun” and possibly the first syllable from the Celtic language “Penn” meaning hill. Penistone is a market town within the Metropolitan Borough of Barnsley – and you’ve guessed it, the market is held on a Thursday!

The old market sold livestock as well as comestibles – and I have to say the ambience of that market has not been replaced with the new market barn. The old market was bought by one of the big supermarkets, with the proviso that as well as a new store, they would build a market barn for the ongoing weekly market. At the time back in 2011 there was uproar “ We don’t need another supermarket” ( there are two other small supermarkets in Penistone) “ We won’t be using it” ……and so on and so forth. That all seems forgotten now …. said supermarket is always busy … no such truer statement than “ We don’t like change” ……but change happens and everyone seems to adapt.

Now as I mentioned before, Penistone falls within the Barnsley Metropolitan Borough. So now for a lesson in the Barnsley dialect…..

Do it yer sen ….or Do it yourself ……even DIY!!!

The DB ( apologies for those of you new to this blog , I am referring to the Dearly Beloved , my husband Nick) sent this photo of the real Millie who had walked to Penistone with me wearing his flat cap ( correction she hadn’t walked with me in his flat cap, he’d put it on her in the car…just wanted to clarify!) At this junction can I please clarify to anyone reading this blog thinking that all folk in Barnsley wear flat caps and have ferrets in their trousers – it is simply not true 🙄🙄🙄 ….flat caps maybe, but no ferrets !

So another phrase “ Ey up” meaning hello or in some cases watch out or be careful. The skill would be in determining to which the phrase was being attributed … considerable damage could be caused if you misconstrued the meaning!

After a fairly non-eventful spell in Penistone shopping , I set off home along the trans Penine trail otherwise known as part of the Tour de France. It is a miracle I wasn’t mown down by one Lycra clad racing cyclist who shot past me from behind like a rocket – no bell or warning if you please. What happened to share with care ?I wanted to shout out ! Then another more sensible cyclist – high vis jacket plus bell and booming voice approached from behind giving plenty of warning ….we even passed the time of day as he passed. However so alert was I to the potential dangers , when I heard another lone bell I flattened myself to the fence to allow offending bike to pass………only to realise the bell was from my phone and linked to our front door video bell 🙈🙈

I felt like Hyacinth Bucket ( pronounced Bouquet) when our Onslow’s dog barked at her from the car and she staggered back into his privet hedge …..there will be some of you who are thinking that I’ve finally flipped ! Look up “ Keeping up appearances” a UK TV series no longer running – you will be guaranteed a laugh!

Finally, to my horror a cyclist was coming towards me, and in fact narrowly missed me though I am far from invisible . He wasn’t going fast but as he drew close I realised he had his eyes closed 🙈….the perils of a simple walk !

So before I sign off – here is the walk …. it looks a bit boring but as you can see it was far from it!

Until tomorrow….si thee……( I’ll leave that for you to work out!)

Well Dear Reader – Day 1 of my challenge is complete! Millie and I started our day with a walk with my friend Claire and Millie’s friend Tess !

Over 200 calories used too – might this challenge have additional benefits I wonder ….. not Jane if you pig out on sweet treats after walking 🥴🥴🥴

No worries yet – I have an afternoon walk planned ( perfectly I could add..)! This was a walk I used to do in my previous life – and whilst much has changed in the intervening years , it brought back very happy memories of walking with our Rottweiler Elsa over the moors. As I hadn’t been sure how much might have changed, I looked up “ Walks round Redmires” and up it popped . So it was downloaded, printed and the hard copy placed in my waterproof map holder. What more could I have done …… apart from walking the walk itself – nothing. So imagine my despair on arrival, to find the main car park, from where we were due to start the walk, shut 🙈🙈 . As you can imagine Kathleen and I rose above it , we’ve conquered far worse 😉😉 so drove along the road and started the walk further along !

The astute amongst you will notice the blue sky – so much for 70% chance of rain ! It drizzled from time to time – but Kathleen and I have walked in far worse conditions so this really was delightful. The variety of scenery was incredible – fields, moors, woods and the riverside .

Now I must explain – Millie does, more often than not, walk with me . However those of you looking at this picture and thinking Millie has undergone plastic surgery, Botox and a complete hair makeover – stop right there . You really should have gone to Specsavers! This is the lovely Bert – a dog on a mission when it comes to his ball! Kathleen has a wonderful thrower for him and no matter where the ball ends up, he will find it – having been in the line of fire once, I stand well back when she takes aim ……. He thoroughly enjoyed the walk – missed his friend Millie who stayed at home because at 11 she can’t manage complicated styles and there were several!

We walked between two reservoirs – Rivelin below and Redmires above. Between the two is a stream ( or should I say series of waterfalls…) called Wyoming Brook

Now, last Summer I took our elder two grandchildren for a walk down this brook which they loved . At one point , as they were crisscrossing the brook over the boulders , there was a sudden rush of water . The boulders were covered with water and our grandson was stuck in the middle . You can only imagine my thoughts – how to reach him, who to call, where would the coastguard land………however none of that was necessary thank goodness. He managed to get to the opposite side whilst remaining dry, so no harm done …and when we walked back up the gentle bubbling brook had returned , no mad rushes of water . Very strange ! However as I suspected , from time to time , excess water is released from the Redmires Reservoir above to the Rivelin one down below causing a real rush of water downwards – and we saw the evidence today……..l

Before we knew it , we were back at the car – walk complete, and as Kathleen pointed out ,we didn’t get lost once !

So 10 km in total – a great day , walking with friends . I feel very positive about the whole challenge – so hope that continues! Now I’ve used 780 calories …..mmmm …..what to eat ? On that note, I’ll leave you with this thought …..

You may well ask “ off what?” – but we won’t go there just yet! Her rocker maybe one answer 🙄 however that’s not what I mean !

What I need to tell you, is that tomorrow is Day 1 of my walking challenge! A 70% chance of rain …. now to quote Alfred Wainwright “ There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.” All I can say is he can’t have walked on the moors south of Sheffield – trust me , the weather can be horrible.

Anyway why am I worrying – I am going with my Camino twin Kathleen,and bad weather doesn’t get us down ( it didn’t help getting us up the mountains either in Galicia but no matter!😉😉) Tomorrow’s blog may be interesting…

The main reason I’m writing this tonight( apart from telling you I’m starting tomorrow) was to tell you I’ve sorted the charity donation button . Okay I’ll be honest – I had nothing to do with it, other than firstly contacting the WordPress help line . Now can you believe this, my email request was responded to with an automated email – telling me the Happiness Engineer ( not joking) would contact me when they were able………have you ever heard of such an engineer ? I mean , what would his , her or their job description state ……think I’ll leave that with you for now !

Anyway eventually the Unhappiness Customer gave up when no response was forthcoming, and phoned her lovely neighbour Tim ( now known as the Happiness Neighbour) who came round and sorted said button . It is placed just beneath the title on the first page of caminoromero.com – if you have an email alert when a blog is written, just click on the link at the top of that page.

Thank you in advance for supporting me – one certainty, according to statistics, is that during the time I am walking, 364 families will lose their baby before, during or shortly after birth ( and that’s not including the devastating loss of miscarriage) That is a shockingly high number .Too many babies still die without scientists, doctors and midwives understanding why, leaving their parents at a complete loss. ( I remember at my post natal appointment, asking the consultant why my baby had died – his answer , one I’ll never forget , was “ oh, who knows, babies are born on the toilets here….” ) By supporting Sands , I would hope with their support of research, parents can be given honest and genuine answers when those questions are asked . Also families going through this devastating heartbreak will get access to much needed support and comfort both nationally and locally through a network of support groups.

So with that I’ll bid you goodnight – until tomorrow……

I do hope I’ve not shocked you Dear Reader ……after all, you don’t normally hear from me ( despite my own determination to continue the blog on a regular basis 🙄🙄) unless I’m off on one of my Camino journeys somewhere in Spain, and in case you’re wondering …I am not ! As it happens , because of the new rules pertaining to the Schengen zone we must abide by as a result of Brexit, I am unable to do a Camino this year 🙈🙈 . My Camino twin and I planned to walk ( I use that term loosely as you will see) the first stage of the Camino Frances from St Jean Pied de Port in France over the Pyrenees and onward to Logroño in Northern Spain. When I say walk – Day 1 involves climbing 1400 m over 21 km and is logged as 5/5 for difficulty – I probably mean crawl on hands and knees!

However, sorry to disappoint – you’ll have to wait for that little gem a bit longer……..😉😉

When I set up this blog ( correction when Tim next door set up the blog for me …….) I chose the name Camino Romero with care precisely because I didn’t want it to be too restrictive . The word “ camino” literally means “ path” and “Romero” is “rosemary “ which you may know signifies “remembrance” . So I felt I had all aspects covered whatever I was doing ( I have to say on the last camino , the remembrance part was more about concentrating very hard on remembering why on earth I had decided to put myself through it, rather than pertaining to any particular cause or reason! ) Kathleen’s words still ring in my ears today “where did you get the idea it was going to be flat and we’d walk about 10 miles a day ?” It wasn’t, we didn’t and I’ve got no idea!!!

So why is it I’m bothering you all again ? Well because I’m taking on this challenge . Now I know there will be some who will consider this tame compared to my mountain goat antics elsewhere – you all know I walk regularly with the beautiful Millie – more of her later!

I cannot disagree, but the challenge will be for me to walk at least 5 kilometres every day, starting on March1 st and finishing on March 28 th . I can hear the brains ticking over from here ……it is indeed 140 km , so exceeding the target of 100 km. No matter Dear Reader – this is for a very worthwhile cause and one closer to my heart than many of you may know.

The Sands charity was set up in 1978 by a small group of bereaved parents devastated by the death of their babies, and by the total lack of acknowledgement and understanding of the significance and impact of their loss. Little did I know back then, as I qualified as a physiotherapist in the Summer of 1978, that within 6 years I would be thrown into the turmoil of shock, heartbreak and total devastation when my first born baby died shortly after she was born at 37 weeks .

Emma would have been 39 this year on March 28 th so it’s seems fitting that as I take on this challenge in her name I finish it on what would have been her birthday ( oh and we go away the next day 😉😉 and I can’t see me walking 5 km as we traverse the M25 !!) ……

Please don’t think this is going to be a blog filled with gloom doom and sadness – you know me better than that and regarding Emma, I have the benefit of time , the healer, on my side. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments still ……..but there are others ( at least 5000) taking on this challenge whose loss is more recent. I understand all too well the rawness of their turmoil and distress so they will also be in my thoughts as I take on the challenge. The other main reason for doing this is to highlight the work of this special charity Sands, whose vision is “for a world where fewer babies die and, when a baby does die, anyone affected receives the best possible care and support for as long as they need.”

Considering that currently today in the UK, 13 families a day suffer the heartbreak of losing their baby before, during or shortly after birth, amounting to approximately 4,500 babies dying a year and an estimated 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, the charity needs all the support we can give ! ( apologies for the long sentence – my old English teacher would have had something to say about that!!!!)

So I decided to reignite this blog to keep you all posted as to what I and hopefully Millie will get up to, also so you can see I am actually walking the walk and where I am doing it! – please don’t think this will be boring, just because it’s local – you have no idea what can happen in the midst of the local countryside and usually does!

So thank you for reading …..as always, without you it wouldn’t be worth writing!

Nearly forgot … if you would like to support this challenge my just giving page is……..

Apologies…….clearly not as simple as copy and pasting 🙈🙈…..I will sort it out for next week ! In fact I’ll give Tim a call might now!

Have a good week – keep safe and take care! Until next time…….

Now I know this may seem a rather strange topic for a blog …. and yes some of you will be saying “ The What? Has she finally lost it – her blogs occasionally contain something amusing – where is she going to find anything amusing in the toilet ? Think I’ll give this one a miss if you don’t mind.” Oh ye of little faith – keep reading ! If you don’t know me by now … no more to say.

However, on a serious note ( yes Dear Reader me and serious can, and do, go together , often ..) I know there are people reading this who are going through difficult times and whilst I write, I want you to know I’m thinking about you , and I hope something I say brings a bit of a chuckle to you …..so back to the toilet we go!

“ So what on earth made you want to write about the toilet – I mean we’ve heard of toilet humour, but come on..” If I’m honest I decided toilets would be a blog subject after a rather unfortunate incident in a hotel room in Spain …..you’ll have to keep reading now, because I’m not giving anything else away just now !

We start by going back to our last Camino … and Dear Reader, it seems a long time ago … those of you who follow me will understand my concern at a lack of any toilet facilities en route, as a result of my inability to squat well, if you recall. We won’t go into why – let’s just say rubbish knees as a result of a rather nasty fall at school. So for this Camino I took a mega sheewee – if you remember the normal one , recommended by our eldest, Emma , was a complete disaster … wet jeans and an inability to stand due to complete hysterics ! What’s more, when I told her this, she said “ Oh, yes ..they’re a waste of time 😂😂” We live and learn – so, let me get back on track. I took a more efficient she wee ( can be used as a hewee too but let’s not get into that …….) on this Camino .

When I arrived home after the long drive from the airport ( you know, the one I shall no longer be flying from – unless of course flights are as good as free) – the first question from the DB ( before even being offered a glass of wine or plate of food ) was “ How did you manage without toilets – did you have to use the shewee?”

Fortunately not , I can tell you – despite long distances with no facilities. My Camino pal on the other hand , who is an excellent squatter ( not that sort , come on) – she is one who can squat , and on several occasions had to do so whilst I stood at the proverbial door to make sure no one came near !

This got me thinking ( watch out , that can be bad news …) the toilet is an essential part of everyday life – is there any other piece of “ furniture” within our home that has so many different names – and whilst toilet is the most common one, in my early years I remember lavatory being more common . Now for some education … the word lavatory stems from the Latin word to wash, and as in most places designated as washing rooms ( I don’t think they meant clothes, I think it related to more personal washing!) there was a “toilet”. So lavatory stuck … how it became toilet, loo, bog, khazi, john and numerous others, I have no idea and need to get back to the intention of this blog before I lose it completely – fascinating that it all may be – this is not a Doctorate on The Humble Toilet , rather an amusing observation . So here we go …….

When I was little I was looked after, more days than not, by a lovely lady who I called Miss Yates ( “ Why you ask?” Because that was her name to me , no first names allowed back then – respect your elders and all) Now don’t be thinking either that my poor mother had to go out to work, or that I was born into some kind of aristocratic family . Neither is true – my father was a hardworking doctor and my mother didn’t work …. but she was occupied with such things as playing tennis, coffee mornings or afternoon teas where children weren’t convenient …. Get back on track for Goodness Sake – the toilet ? Ah yes, Miss Yates’ toilet ( that’s why I was telling you about her ….) Well it fascinated me, because it wasn’t in the house , it was at the end of her yard, and it looked like this –

Also there was no toilet paper , instead there was newspaper … “What?” I hear you cry , “surely not !” Yes newspaper – now I should tell you all this super soft cushioned stuff didn’t exist when I was a child . We had Izal toilet paper when I was little – some of you will remember it – a bit like thin grease proof paper ! Pretty useless really – absorbency level …zilch …very similar to newspaper!

That is a toilet that has stuck in my memory …and ours was quite ordinary in comparison and it was in the house!..

Not a lot had changed when the DB and I bought our house twenty two years ago ( keep with me please, there is a reason for all this …) The toilets fitted were as below….

But what has happened over the past twenty two years Dear Reader ? Have you noticed ? Our toilets have changed shape …

Who on earth decided to change the shape of the toilet Dear Reader ? Is there someone out there who thought – let’s be different today ! From now on we’ll have square ( ok rectangular toilets) Was there a reason for his/ her choice ? Did they observe an evolution of the shape of human derrières? Are our derrières evolving ? Well I’d like to know please? Are we evolving into Sponge Bob Square Pants … “ And who on earth is he?” you ask Well here he is –

Look he’s a perfectly lovely guy but clearly he has a square bottom , or he wouldn’t have square pants , would he ? Or is it me .. no, not just me with a square derrière ( whilst I may have one , it is difficult to see for myself , but the DB who may have commented on my derrière in the past , has never mentioned it’s squareness ), me who thinks evolution may be happening under our eyes when we were least expecting it ! Hence toilets changing shape – I suppose to suit us better . Well I won’t go into details for my reasons, but bring back the old shape , I say !

Anyway , back to the beginning and what started me thinking about this blog and it’s title. I was staying in a rather lovely hotel in Granada, Spain, with two of my cousins, sharing a room with my female cousin. As you do I inspected the bathroom to find the toilet ….

To be honest I wasn’t quite sure what this was all about initially – then I realised it was an all singing , all dancing , all washing, all drying and anything else you may request, toilet. Before I go any further , toilets such as these make the life of many people so much easier and I salute them . However tucked in the corner of a hotel bathroom with no room to manoeuvre , it was more a liability, certainly for me . Imagine the scene Dear Reader, in the middle of the night ( accustomed as I am to require the facilities through the night) , half asleep in I go to the bathroom, turn right and take a seat – inadvertently move my hand and I have water squirting into my face from where, in my half asleep state, I can’t quite work out. Then I remember the all singing, all dancing toilet – but can’t remember how to stop it . Press another button for goodness sake – remember this is all in the pitch dark – the next thing I know is I have a Force Ten blowing up from below …. Wrong button … suffice to say, by this time I’m wide awake and in hysterics – cousin appears , light on and red stop button pressed – peace reigns ………..well till the next time ! And that is why toilets were on my agenda to talk about….As an addendum, we did ask someone at the hotel about these marvellous machines. It transpires the hotel was popular with the Japanese who frequented said hotel, pre Covid and so such was the popularity, the hotel changed all the toilets to suit their Japanese clients. Apparently the all washing toilet is very popular in Japan … who knew?

When out in public however, one has to find the toilet first . The DB and I took a trip to Sussex where our daughter lives , and we had an evening out on our own in Brighton ( “evening out “ and “ on our own” is always likely to end in tears ( of laughter you understand!) It was a pleasant evening roundabout the end of the main Covid pandemic ( we were allowed out, keeping distance seemed less important, but ordering systems at bars and restaurants were still a little complicated ) So we sat down and the DB went to order two Gin and Tonics ( also paying a visit to the Gents whilst away) He was gone ages – in fact the drinks arrived to my surprise, yet he was nowhere to be seen.

Eventually he reappeared with the infamous words “ I’ve had a bit of difficulty “ ( Frank Spencer, eat your heart out!!) Well, it appeared when he asked where the toilets were, he was directed up the stairs . So off he went, but could only find this sign…….

So not seeing any obvious sign for the Gents he went back downstairs and asked again. He was of course directed back up the stairs to follow the sign ….. eventually he was advised to choose the man with half a skirt sign which he did, and the rest is history. He appeared later than expected , slightly shaken but not stirred!

When it comes to signs , some can be really hard to determine whether they are male or female toilets.Take this sign from a bar we visited this week ….

It’s not only the toilet that’s confusing – what about the flush? It was obvious when you had a chain above your head to pull , you pulled it and the toilet flushed . Then we had the handle flush – again easy- press it down and bob’s your uncle , toilet flushes. Now we have the environmentally friendly flush on most toilets – press small button for minimal water, large button , maximum flush. All well and good, but what about these contactless sensor flush buttons – you only have to move an arm out of place , and before you know it there’s an unexpected dam burst beneath you which can cause significant distress! A point in question – I entered a supermarket toilet ( come on it’s irrelevant which Supermarket though I think it might have been Sainsbury’s !) Anyway all four cubicles were empty until I occupied one ! Now no one came in whilst I was there but to my horror I heard someone flush their toilet . For a second I was an incey wincey bit scared – how had that toilet flushed with no one around ….then I realised it was my flush! Obviously I’d moved an arm in the wrong way and…….whoosh! Bring back the chain I say!!!!

Now in these energy efficient times , the latest gizmo is to have automatic lighting when you go to the loo, servicios, toilettes or whatever. As you enter the room a light comes on. Reassured, you sit ( or stand whichever is your preference) and commence what you’ve entered for. Then ….boom out goes the light and you are left in complete darkness. Who dictates the length of time the light should be on – some young whipper snapper who is in an out in a thrice that’s who, clearly not some elderly gentleman who needs time in the toilet. Nor lady for that matter – by the time you’ve removed your garments and taken a seat there you are in darkness. However I have found ( through our friend Charlie) a reason to be grateful for being a woman on this occasion. Lights go out and we wave our arms about ! Lights go out in the men’s toilet ….only one arm to wave ( we hope!!!) The benefits of hands free!!!

Phew well that’s it – the humble toilet and what a tale it has to tell!

I’ll end with this quote “ Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”

Until next time……….

How quickly things can change …until ten days ago this blog was going to be some observations during my travels on the common lavatory …….but not any more ( you’ll have to wait for that one Dear Reader!!!)

Now I know what you’re wondering ….what happened ten days ago to change my mind ? Well it was the purchase of an Air fryer ….let me explain. We need to go back just a little bit – most of you know of the DB ( Dearly Beloved, the present Mr Harding , my better half – or if the winds blowing in the wrong direction, Victor Meldrew!) – well, he is a Yorkshireman which means the phrase “ How much?” comes to him as easily as breathing in and out! So when the crippling rises in electricity and gas costs were mooted, he tucked himself away in his study, to calculate any money saving methods he could muster . Research showed that an air frier used 80% less energy to provide perfectly cooked food ! Well you can’t argue with that …..particularly when I knew he had read re-read and then read again every available piece of information on air fryers he could. You see Dear Reader this is where he and I differ …. I hear they use 80% less energy and decide – right we’ll have one, that one looks nice …… order ….next day delivery …and off we go – decision made in 5 minutes !

So after much deliberation , we have a new piece of cooking equipment in the kitchen with all the trepidation that brings ….and it took me right back to when we had our kitchen re- done about ten years ago. In my previous life I had always cooked on Agas and whilst I would have loved an Aga here , we opted for the next best thing ( well in looks anyway) a Rangemaster stove ( very posh with two ovens and a grill, a wok ring, four gas rings and two electric rings which serve as a brilliant pancake cooker!

Now, one of the ovens is multifunctional the other a fan oven – when I listened to the sales lady talking me through what you could use each function for I was amazed! What I couldn’t do with this stove was nobody’s business – I could defrost, use it as a normal fan oven, a fan grill, a fan assist, a conventional oven, use the browning element at the top, and also base heat ( apparently very good for pizzas) at the bottom ( surprisingly!!!) Anyway, as a purchaser of this piece of equipment I would be invited to a morning of cookery demonstrations where I would learn all functions and more . What could go wrong Dear Reader?

Our kitchen was completed September/October so in good time for our family Christmas and what’s more , I was booked in for my demonstration one Saturday in November. Excellent , and to celebrate we will order a designer turkey from the local farm( I think it was a Norfolk Black but could have been a Mulberry or Louis Vuitton for the price I paid for it!) to christen the Rangemaster’s first Christmas.

Then, to my disappointment the cookery demonstration was cancelled and even more upsetting, there wouldn’t be one before Christmas. Well no worries, I had my User Guide with all the notes I’d taken from the sales assistant transferred across – the most important of all being “ Turkey overnight – 110-120 conventional *cover turkey slightly*”

Now, I remember from my childhood the turkey being ceremoniously placed in the oven on Christmas Eve to cook overnight – marvellous I thought, no need to be faffing on Christmas Day ! I mean along with this designer bird, I had prepared every possible accompaniment- 3 stuffings ( or seasonings if you prefer …I chuckle at this point because I always remember my late father in law telling me it wouldn’t be right to ask a lady if she would like stuffing ……..and seasoning sounded far more polite!!!), sausages, bacon rolls, pigs in blankets and dates in bacon ….there may have been more, remember Dear Reader this was the first Christmas in our new kitchen and we were going to celebrate with the family ( all 10 of us) in style!!

So in style the bird was loosely wrapped and at about 10 pm , placed in the multi functional oven on the conventional setting ( well so I presumed) and we breathed a sigh of relief ! Bring on Christmas Day!

When I got up in the morning and started to walk downstairs , I was overcome by the smell of cooked turkey …..very good , I thought ! So I opened the oven door to have a look at this Christmas Day Centre piece … only to shut it again quickly . Surely I hadn’t seen what I thought I had …. open the door again and all will be well …surely? So I opened the door again and had to face the stark reality … the beautiful designer turkey seemed to have disappeared, the foil was flat across the roasting tin. I barely dared look – but when I did the harsh reality was that the turkey had cooked to a point, that the whole carcass had collapsed!

So with some trepidation I mentioned to the DB that there might be a problem with our Christmas Dinner …….downstairs he came, took one look and said “ Well I can’t carve that, I’ll just pick the bones out !” Then one by one the children arrived downstairs “ Turkey smells good ….oh oh…what’s happened” was their sympathetic approach before howling with laughter unable to control themselves!!! Fortunately, I have always been able to laugh at myself – an essential skill, I believe, for anyone – so took all the hilarity on the chin. We had plenty of food without the turkey – though some did brave it ! On that Christmas Day, Turkeygate was born …and continues to be referred to , to this day!

So back to the beginning -our latest piece of kitchen equipment …. the DB is more confident with it than I am . However, I decided to make a Christmas cake the other day ( there’s a theme here Dear Reader!) and when I read it would take over four hours in the conventional fan oven, ( I mean what would that do to our energy bill never mind the DB’s blood pressure) I suggested we try baking it in the Air frier. So we did …….the message popped up on my phone “ your food is ready”( oh it’s all very clever, somehow it’s linked to my phone and I think the DB said I could programme it remotely ……not a chance!!!) Out it came ……but a bit like Turkeygate, clearly we need a bit more practise ……it wasn’t cooked on the bottom, in fact it was raw whilst being cooked almost too much on the top……so into the fan oven it went for a further two hours on low covered with foil……and now I’m pleased to say we have a fully baked Christmas cake , and yes a few more pennies on the electricity bill!! “A twice baked fruit cake?” I hear you ask “Oh , will it be ok?” Of course it will !…….by the time I’ve fed it with all the brandy I’ve put aside for it ….no one will know how many times it’s been baked!!!

Like much in this life, lessons learnt Dear Reader ! Always do a practise run before your main event- it goes without saying, I have never cooked turkey again in our oven – not because I was put off by the Turkeygate saga- but because we prefer other meats. Now, of course ,providing we buy a small turkey, we may be able to cook it in our Air frier ( a misnomer I have to say, as there is no element of frying involved whatsoever – a better description would be a mini turbo oven) next year!

I’ll leave you with the following

When you are the first to laugh at yourself, everyone else laughs with you….not at you …..worth remembering I think!

Let down again Dear Reader …I apologise ……yesterday came and went I’m afraid , courtesy of a rather nasty cough/cold caught whilst on our Camino! Where on earth it came from I cannot be certain , but my money is on the pilgrim walking into Finisterre as we were walking out. He carried his walking boots in one hand ( his feet in socks and a pair of plastic beach sandals, presumably wrecked from his walk) and walking pole in the other – so no hope that as he coughed as if he was the local town crier making an announcement, he could raise neither an elbow nor a hand to cover his mouth and prevent any germs escaping and heading my way……..

Anyway, I’m here now and keeping any germs to myself you’ll be pleased to know! I don’t want you to think I’m obsessed with flight safety or life jackets but when I was telling you about our flight home, I omitted to tell you about a flight the DB and I undertook in July of this year with our two American friends. We successfully flew from the UK to Schiphol Airport ….where we were due to catch a connecting flight within Europe! This is when things went awry – we managed to lose our friends ( careless I know Dear Reader, however we are absolved of all responsibility as they were in the care of the assistance team at the time!) , and when at the last minute we got on the connecting flight, to my horror the cabin crew giving the safety briefing forgot to tell us about the life jacket . I was all for pressing the call button to alert them to their error, when the DB suggested that perhaps a life jacket was surplus to requirement when flying over a land mass! He had a point , so I sat quietly for the remainder of the flight safe in the knowledge that at least my safety belt was securely fastened and if needed an oxygen mask was above my head should I need it !

In case you’re wondering , we were reunited with our friends some time later along with our suitcase that also went astray on the same journey – all was well that ended well!

So let me get back to the end of our Camino journey – I’d brought you all to a standstill on the runway at Stanstead Airport , thanks I’m sure to us and our fellow passengers applying the brakes! So we leave the plane after the usual scramble after touching down. I’m certain we’re told to remain seated, with our seat belts fastened, until the Captain has switched off the “fasten seat belt” sign. I must need my hearing testing because clearly everyone else hears “ undo your seatbelts as soon as we start to taxi to our dock, and as soon as the plane stops get up quickly to retrieve your over head bags ……oh and don’t mind anyone else whilst you’re doing it , things may fall out and hit someone but as long as it’s not you, all is good” The strange thing Dear Reader, is the doors don’t open any quicker for them than for me, and we all file off in line anyway. Just an observation……….

We all file off the plane and into the airport building – and follow the signs for Passport Control and Baggage Reclaim ….up stairs, then downstairs , along a travelator then to a bottle neck of travellers at the top of some stairs. We have arrived ….into utter chaos , no system in place it appeared, although being typically British, we found the end of the queue. However, to our dismay we realised many people reached the top of those stairs and completely ignored the queue. Suffice to say frustration was all around – when finally we reach the e- booths! What happened to the man or woman behind the desk looking at our passports ? Money saving I guess – but the machines don’t always play ball do they ? No, Dear Reader, they don’t! The number of people who stood hopefully on those yellow footprints, remove glasses (but then they couldn’t read the instructions – so glasses have to go back on whilst they check they’re doing the right thing – then off they come again so the machine recognises you) whilst you look in the camera hopefully……and then “computer says …no” . So you’re removed and advised to try a booth further along… Now, not that I’m telling Border Force what to do ……..just saying…….

So finally we exit Passport Control and head to Baggage Reclaim – and we’ve been so long, all cases from Santiago have long been removed from the carousel. Fortunately, not lost , so gathered up and off we go through Customs . We have nothing to declare -but suddenly the doors leading out of customs shut with an alarming siren and flashing lights. We, along with about fifty ( not too happy ) others were held in a holding bay …….further delay ! Eventually, we are released……and so to the bus ( I might say , at this point we have decided never to fly from this airport again!) Now for the bus – they allegedly come every 10 minutes. Well, we were at fifteen minutes already, but then we see the incoming drop off bus, labelled “Terminal”. Marvellous, we all thought – then the sign changed to “Out of Service”. I think you can imagine the mood of those waiting ……….fortunately, it changed quite quickly ( I think the driver saw anarchy ahead unless it did!) Eventually we reached our car , having spent over two and a half hours since leaving the plane . It’s just as well I’m not an influencer ( now there’s a thought!!!) because on that day , that airport was not fit for purpose !

Needless to say , the journey home “up North” was completely uneventful…….thank goodness I hear you cry, I don’t think I could take any more……..

That is us , back home and the end of one journey ……..not quite ready to set off again, but of course metaphorically we’re both back on our own everyday journeys! One of the first duties on my return is to ceremoniously discard my trusty ( well not so) raincoat.

One of my blogs referred to the 6 P’s – which talked about perfect planning preventing , let us say, a rubbish performance.

So Dear Reader , I put my hands up in error! I took this red poncho out of my case before we left for Santiago …… instead taking my 12 year old purple rain coat……I mean it was early September, surely it wasn’t going to rain??!!! Fool! Check the weather forecast next time . Lesson learnt though – red poncho is already in the rucksack for next time ………the purple one , you ask ……..easy, it’s in the bin!!!!

Just before I go, I’ll let you into a secret ……..earlier today I had surgery on one of my toe nails ……

As I was waiting to go in to this room, the receptionist came to me to ask if I’d mind if my partner came in with me ……the DB as you know him! Not at all I said – does he really want to come in? With that, he was in and sitting on a stool, eyes agog to watch the surgery! You can imagine my concerns – him fainting or worse in horror at the gore of the procedure …..not at all he said , I’ve watched this on you tube! – I’d like to see what they do ! Well rather him than me – I didn’t look at all!

So here I sit with my foot elevated – while Nurse Harding is doing a very good job of keeping me fed and hydrated – and I don’t mind telling you, I’m making the most of it! Normal service will return to Harding Towers soon enough!!!!

I am pleased to tell you , that is it for today …….however, I have decided to continue the blog with reflections and observations on both our Camino and life ……. you’ll be pleased to know it won’t be a daily occurrence, but once maybe twice a month …I’ll see how it goes!

So until we meet again Keep Safe , Be Happy …and remember, in a world where you can be anything, be kind.