Now I suspect you are thinking what about your practise?You said practise made perfect and yet not a dicky bird from you since last week – well dear reader, I’ve been a little busy with the future generations of our family ……I have mastered the art of writing this now , the word program will take a little longer I feel . However I’ve had other fish to fry and get my head round – the pedometer app for a start! It’s a very useful and accurate way of measuring distance and anything else for that matter -walk time, pace ,elevation and to top it off ( well the bit I’ve understood) I’ll be able to tell you how many calories I’ve used during the day !! ( the astute amongst you will see the word “ be” is underlined – don’t ask me how that happened, as I said the word program is on the back burner for now )

I have also been practising walking – by which I mean going for longer walks than normal considering the heat and the fact that my four legged walking companion can no longer manage what she used to. Over the past three days, and according to the trusty pedometer app, I’ve walked 13 miles. Excellent! I hear you cry – well before you start popping the corks, we have to walk 13 miles on the first day so I’m keeping fingers crossed that the lure of a glass of Albariño will whisk me over the many miles with minimum problems !

So back to the title – the six P’s Perfect Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance ( sorry I should have forwarded you – this may contain offensive language ) – a mantra to live by I feel and a pity that some in authority don’t appear to adopt! We’ve received all our documents, the trusty guide book and list of suggested things to pack. So when we leave next weekend we will be perfectly planned and completely ready for the trip ahead !

However one of my friends ( in Canada as it happens ) has been thinking ahead to my next Camino …….and he suggested this …

For those of you who are interested please look it up ……just looking at the videos turned me a whiter shade of pale . One of the reasons I have been quiet on the air waves was because we took our two eldest grandchildren to this adventure park in Sherwood Forest high in the trees – not for the faint hearted, nor those with acrophobia …..and what’s that , for goodness sake I hear you say ? Read on dear reader, read on….

There is absolutely no way in this world that I could do that and my feet stayed securely on the ground I can assure you – I am not good with heights at all and in fact am acrophobic ( you knew I’d tell you ..) – so my response to my friend Ray about the Caminito del Rey was – “ you’re having a laugh” – which indeed Dear Reader , he was . His wife Audrey tried to reassure me by saying “ but you’re tied to the side as you walk” – nope,sorry no reassurance at all – I know some may think I’m brave but I’m not that sort of brave. In my view, you’d have to be completely mad , a thrill seeker or have a death wish to attempt that – I mean there are gaping holes in the pathway ( if you’ve dared to look that is …) No, not for me – however other suggestions always welcome ….

So as I continue to perfectly plan the trip, I’ll leave you with the following thought….

“Life must be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards” Kierkegaard

PS Hope you noticed that somehow I mastered italics appropriately!

For people like me an awful lot of practise is required to get anywhere near “perfect” – I remember when I was revising for my final physiotherapy exams, I went to the library every night for three hours, probably eight weeks before the exam. I would read through the subject then write down all I had learned – not being enough , I would read again and write again ( I should point out, there were no computers in those days – all writing was done by hand with pen on paper!). Did it pay off I hear you ask – it did indeed, I passed my exams – but my room mate also passed her exams just reading through each subject a couple of weeks beforehand!! See my point?

Whilst I have plenty to say on my blog – I am struggling with getting to grips with “Word” on this iPad . I managed to lose the keyboard yesterday – it vanished completely – and I still don’t know how I got it back. I know how my adoptive mother- in-law feels ( don’t ask – I mean how do you adopt a mother- in -law? All I can say, is that unlike adopting a gorilla in Africa or elephant in Thailand, the Dearly Beloved is very pleased with this particular adoption….note to self – remember to explain about this lovely lady at a later date) – anyway when we last saw her she had a problem with her iPad but was explaining she hesitates to use it much because she is so worried she will press the wrong button and everything will disappear. I know how she feels – what is more worrying for me though , is that she was born twenty four years before me !!! So I need to practise…….

At this point the DB will be saying “ for goodness sake get on with what you wanted to say – no wonder your battery ran down so quickly yesterday ….”

Certainly my creative writing left me during Covid but it didn’t mean I was inactive or bored – part of my routine was baking cakes for those neighbours working under difficult circumstances ie in the NHS or in schools and I also started to crochet ! Not blankets or anything thing straightforward- not I . Jump straight in at the deep end and crochet animals ! My very good friend ( and neighbour as it happens) had started this hobby and persuaded me to start, and so I did – and what a challenge ! I asked friends and family what their children’s (and of those, 7 were my grandchildren) favourite animal was! Well if I’d hoped for a dog or a cat ( simple things to make) – I certainly didn’t get them ! A giraffe, a wolf, a unicorn, a dinosaur …….. as I said just jump in the deep end- take a risk- that’s how I learnt !

So I have been far from idle, despite it all feeling very strange! So finally I’d like to share some of my reflections of the past two years with you ….

A time when Corona became much more than a Mexican beer , Zoom became more than a child’s ice lolly, and a positive result became anything but positive!

WFH or Working From Home became the norm -people were even banned from entering their places of work. I don’t know about you but how difficult was it to WFH BC ( by that I mean Before Covid not Before Christ!) – fair nigh impossible!

Our language became full of abbreviations- PCR tests and LFT’s became part of everyday language – so much so that “ Lateral Flow” has been added to the Oxford Dictionary , and the Collins dictionary has declared “ lockdown”as the word of the year!

For even those of us without an elite education – letters of the Greek alphabet became part of every day language . Whoever knew Omicron was a letter in the Greek alphabet – I always thought Omega was the “O” but there you go!

We even washed our shopping can you believe! – and let the post sit for two or three days without opening it in case we caught Covid from touching it! Paying by cash became a thing of the past and whereas BC a lady’s handbag essentials were a lipstick and a vanity mirror, suddenly every handbag contained a mask and small bottle of hand gel – who needed lipstick?

Now though, as in 1869 after the famine , although Covid is still very much around, the danger has passed and we have all joined together again thank goodness. So enjoy the freedoms we have , the friends and family we have and the lives we have …….and I leave you with this ….

Some might say “ let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start” – but as I have no intention of teaching you, Dear Reader, to sing it is not helpful advice. Anyway you have been with me since August 2019 when I started this blog before embarking on my previous Camino. So the question still remains – where to start ? The obvious answer being “ Where you left off , of course?” So I will do exactly that by reminding you of the poem I signed off with back in March 2020 written in 1869 by Catherine O’Meara after the famine and titled”And people stayed home”

And the people stayed at home , and they read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still.

And they listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when 5he danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses and made new choices , and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

Well it’s true to say that at the time I wrote that , and the blog that preceded it, I ( and I’m sure you too Dear Reader) had no idea what lay in store for us all. I think all I need say is that despite my intention to keep blogging , any creative flair I had disappeared into the ether. I began , as I said in my last blog , with making sure we ( that is for those who may be new to this, the Dearly Beloved, myself and Millie our Golden Retriever) had a routine. Friday afternoon became wine o’clock with my friend Linda on the phone ( you won’t be surprised at that I’m sure !!! Saturday become “ bacon sandwich day” and the day we spoke to friends in Spain, Barbara and Roy. Sunday became “ cooked breakfast day” and the day we video called Ray and Audrey friends in Canada, and David and Victoria friends in Spain. Monday became video call to Portland, Oregon to speak to our American friends Dick and Wendy . Of course there were many other calls made, glasses of wine shared over the telephone – but I’m pleased to say to this day Friday through Sunday continues as it did throughout the Covid crisis.

So we had routine … but those of you who know me will know I am a people person and the lack of face to face contact certainly , like many, had a negative effect on me hence no writing ! Before I move on, I’d like to share something I have literally just learnt …. Affect or Effect which should it be ….. simple, A is for action, E is for end result! I won’t forget that in a hurry …. well at my age and giving nothing away I’m proud to say I’ve just become eligible for “ concessions”!

Forgive me if you can’t see that- I’m having a bit of difficulty to say the least with all these technicalities- and now I see I only have 8% of battery left ….. and as for the iPad …….

So until tomorrow- yes I’m afraid so ….practise makes perfect so they say and boy do I need practise …

In the meantime be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle of some sort ….Im off to get charged up!

Hello ……….Hello ………Is anyone out there ? Dear reader are you still there ? If you are, this blog is waking up – not sure the author is quite yet – I need to re educate myself on the wonders of WordPress ! So watch this space – it’ll take a little time – we’re off on our travels again soon but I’ve got so much to tell you all . I mean what about the past two years …………

Anyway must go now – we’re sampling a rather delicious English sparkling white wine …….Albariño eat ( or should I say drink) your heart out ….

See you all very soon …….

How things have changed since I last put fingertip to keyboard ( doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as “put pen to paper” does it? but it is supposed to be progress so I’ll try and work with it!) We were going about our daily business rushing here, rushing there- seeing family, meeting friends ,walking the dog with pals, shopping ( with an “ oh I forgot to buy butter – no worries I’ll call at Tesco ( other supermarkets are available…) tomorrow when I’m meeting myself coming backwards from doing whatever” attitude, and whatever else we filled our days with. Those of us with ears, listened to government advice not to go out to pubs, clubs, restaurants or bars but others didn’t . I still don’t think even now some people realise the enormous impact of this nasty little invisible thing otherwise known as Covid 19, that is wreaking havoc across the globe and changing lives for ever. If everyone did, please explain to me why, after clear instruction from the government on “ social distancing”( which I’ll come back to later staying 2 metres away from you of course…) and staying away from anyone other than those living in your house , Derbyshire police came across this –

Then our government realised that advice was not sufficient and we moved very quickly to having pubs, restaurants etc closed and then to total lockdown, although not as Spain, Italy and I think, France know it. Like them we must only go out for food or pharmacy, and all workers considered non- essential must now stay at home. However, we are allowed out once a day for the purposes of exercise – whereas in Spain Italy and France, that is not allowed. They are however, allowed to exercise their dogs if they have them, but no more than 50 metres from their homes . So you may imagine some clever individuals wanting to get out but having no reason (or dog) to do so, might try and borrow a neighbours dog…… sadly, the Spanish police are always a step ahead! So if you go out where our little bolt hole in Spain is, you are advised to carry with you proof of your address and of ownership of the dog accompanying them ( along with the customary poo bags) ! I think if I were there, by the time I’d remembered to gather all those documents together, I may well leave the house having forgotten the dog! Whenever I think of the Guardia Civil or the Policia Local stopping someone and asking if the dog with them is theirs, I can’t help but think of Peter Sellars as Clouseau in Pink Panther Strikes again – and the “Does your dog bite ?” sketch! I recommend , dear reader, you look it up -it will surely bring a smile to your face!

So we at the moment can exercise daily , with or without ,a dog.

We are blessed here to be surrounded by beautiful countryside, so whilst we drove out for the above walk, we have plenty of walks to do within easy reach of our back door .

I suppose at this point I should tell you, about our gazebo – with a wonky floor ( and a wonky balustrade courtesy of a wild party, held by our youngest son when we were not in residence,)I tell you of the floor problem for one reason – 17 years ago the DB got down on bended knee ( he claims he had intended to fix said wonky floor!) and proposed. The rest is history and needless to say, the floor remains wonky!!!

Back to the matter in hand – at the moment we feel lucky. We are doing as we are told to do and I am pleased to say everyone we see is respecting the “ social distancing “ rules. Now I said I would return to this so I have. A couple of nights ago I heard a BBC newsreader discussing this with an interviewee, and she made a really valid point. It has been labelled “social distancing” but in reality it is “physical distancing” – just because we keep a minimum of two metres between each other, doesn’t mean to say we can’t pass the time of day, say hello or even smile. You may guess , dear reader, that this ruminating rambling sixty something year old does all three!!! Before all restrictions came into being I had started to have a long walk Thursday with a girl from my hooping class ( more of that to follow!!!!!) Every person we met we’d say “morning”, “hello” or get engrossed in deeper conversation – I must say walking with a dog is a conversation starter in itself . We came upon a middle aged gentleman, definitely avoiding eye contact , walking toward us – I said my usual cheery “morning”( even though it was afternoon!) and whilst he didn’t engage in eye contact he did acknowledge the greeting . My walking pal said to me “ I knew of all people , you’d get him to speak!” That is me ! Since our lockdown , the DB has walked with me almost every day! Prior to lockdown I used to walk four days with my dog walking pals , and then my long walk Thursday walk – because the DB really didn’t want to walk. He could never understand why , if I’d only gone a short way, did I take so long. Now he knows – my walks provide a whole social life in themselves, but I wouldn’t have it any other way . Every day ( regardless of this new situation) I aim to make another’s life just a bit better- and whether it be with a smile or “hello” it works!

One son lives in Spain and has been under a tighter lockdown ( as previously described ) than us , but they wear masks and gloves when shopping . So I thought about this – and indeed whilst my experience in Aldi ( other supermarkets are available!) last Thursday was a pleasant one, all shoppers trying to respect the 2 metre social distancing, inevitably during the procession around the store the gap narrows. As a result,yesterday I made a mask ……

Actually, this snood came with me on the Camino last September ( which is where this blog all started !) – all I did was to sew some old sheet to cover my nose and mouth! I have no idea how the unsuspecting customers of Aldi will react on Thursday ,but I hope they won’t all run for cover! …..well it would take social distancing to another level!

We have been in lockdown now for precisely one week and the end is certainly not nigh. I am beginning to feel a sense of decreased motivation amongst some and of feeling “down – this is bound to happen at times. We are being asked to do things totally alien to us. I am a hugger – I coped with elbow bumps when we were told not to shake hands or hug , but now really still can’t believe I have adapted to not even going near people. One of the worst things for me is struggling to give comfort with just words – now that is hard and next time I will talk about that a bit more.

I feel it is so important to keep structure to each day – especially now we all have more time on our hands and each day is very much like the next . I think it a good idea to challenge ourselves, learn a new skill or try and achieve something we’ve been desperate to achieve. Okay, so back to the hooping ….. I ( yes I) discovered over a year ago that my neighbour had joined a hooping class. Anything she can do …… as it turns out I can’t do it better! I have never hooped before – no hoola hoop for me as a child – but I joined the class . Good exercise – for my back! I spent the majority of time bending down to pick the confounded hoop up from the floor when it resolutely refused to stay anywhere near my waist despite my best efforts. So after several classes and a lot of frustration – it stayed up for two twirls …….. Determined to succeed I purchased a hoop and took it with me to Spain to practice. After two months of six days a week, five minutes each side hooping ( loosely put) I managed to keep the hoop in motion for one( and one only) session of five minutes. I was overjoyed! So now, at my power hooping class – I can even move my arms whilst hooping! Is that enough – not a bit of it ! My teacher Sarah, can not only hoop and move her arms but walk ( nee dance) around whilst doing so! I am well aware that I will never be like Sarah but you’ve guessed it dear reader, my challenge to myself is to move my feet whilst hooping – now don’t be silly please , arms and legs together I hear you say – my arms and legs barely work together when standing still! That will be next year’s challenge!

Sarah has started an online class via Zoom – getting onto Zoom alone was hard enough for me , anyway we will see how I get on tomorrow- I’m hoping to show off my new found skill!

My Fitsteps dance teacher is also doing something similar – at least I’ll have mastered Zoom by the time of her class. The dance class is great fun – yours truly is not a natural mover or shaker! As a small child, my mother took me to my first ballet class – only to be pulled aside at the end and told that her infant may do better in the tap class! I look on with envy at the lovely Olivia who moves incredibly beautifully , she dances professionally – and gaze in amazement at how her hips move in so many directions as she does the samba routine , cha-cha routine and the rest . I try desperately to get similar movement to no avail – my hips would need a map to follow hers I think and as yet I haven’t found such a map!

We will all get through this , hence the title of this particular blog . However we may not all get through unscathed. I pray you and yours keep safe ,dear reader, and I leave you with this uncannily relevant poem by Catherine O’Meara titled “ And people stayed home” written in 1869 after the famine . I personally found it both moving and reassuring …..

And the people stayed home ,and they read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still.

And they listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.And the people healed.And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

We’ll I have been intending to write this blog for weeks now, almost since my last blog. Why you may ask -in truth I have no idea! So much has attracted my attention during this time, from the tragic suicide of Caroline Flack, the storms causing devastating floods, through Philip Schofield having to “come out” on breakfast television to the Coronavirus ……..with each event, so much has whirled around my ever increasingly addled and ruminating brain, I haven’t been able to gather my thoughts to put finger to keyboard! Oh and on top of all that I’ve been studying, dear reader – we’ll sort of……The DB and I discovered the joy of learning how to get the most out of our iPhones for photography – and the courses are all free at the Apple shop ( much to the DB’s delight) ! Now we can take a satisfactory selfie , use the live function appropriately and understand the rule of thirds ! ( we’ll I’ve not quite got my head round that yet but give me time …….) So bearing these free sessions in mind , I decided to learn the iPhone basics – yes I know I’ve had an iPhone for longer than I can remember but off I went to iPhone/iPad basics Level 1!Well what I didn’t learn was nobody’s business! I mean pre session 1, anything in Settings was completely out of bounds to me – leave we’ll alone being my motto. So, when not only am I introduced to my Control Centre, I learn that I can customise it! I mean whoever knew – so enlightened with this new knowledge, I booked onto Level 2! Another victory – more knowledge crammed into this brain of mine – the calendar, reminders and notes apps now being used to within an inch of their lives! Delighted with this new found knowledge, I decided to treat myself to an iPad – after all me and Apple …….- and as I tap away at this keyboard, it is so much easier that tapping my fingers gingerly on the iPhone board. With every new iPad you are eligible for 30 minutes free online personal training- and of course I went for it- but, ironically , and to my dismay despite doing everything I was asked to do , I received this message :

Never mind – my new found confidence has enabled me to be more adventurous , and I’ve succeeded in working this device with no major hiccups! Just one thing though, how on earth do you ring 1-800-MY-APPLE ?I eventually gave it up as a bad job.

So now I’ve bought you up to speed, I’ll get on with what I started with! Oh before I do, I’m sure you’re itching to know whether on the morning of February 14 th I awoke to find a red Ferrari completely filled with red roses on my drive ………. no! Better than that , the DB made a delicious desert for our Valentines meal ……

Delicious Cranachan ( oh and don’t be disappointed there were no red roses – the artificial ones came down from the loft for a few days, now safely packed away till next year!)

So, who was the spark (as if I needed a spark !) who spurred my writing today? We’ll it was this lady –

Miriam Margoyles! I watched her programme yesterday entitled “ My big fat adventure” and I was moved by it. It struck so many chords with subjects that have been whirling round in my brain – so , unaccustomed as I am to doing this, I’m going to digress ( only slightly!)

Tête à tête daffodils

These little daffodils ( bear with me here please …….) have been in bloom since before Valentines Day . Taking them at face value, one might say they were a delicate little flower, needing tender care, protection etc- wrong! These little flowers have seen off Storms Ciara, Dennis and Jorge and are still standing – and in case you’re wondering they are growing in what is in effect , a wind tunnel – and boy, are we exposed to strong wind! So the assumption they are delicate and fragile little things is totally wrong – and every time I look at them I am amazed at their resilience ! How appearances can be deceptive – what we see is not necessarily how thing are – and this is what I was leading up to (thank goodness I hear you cry!).

Fame and fortune does not automatically bring the perfect happy life as is more often than not portrayed in the media. It seems to me too many of our young people particularly girls, aspire just to be famous – why I ask myself? Cameras follow you every which way you go – comments ( generally derisory!) are made in the press about your visible panty line, the one hair on your head that was a millimetre out of place, your outfit ( too baggy, too tight, too short, too long) and the assumed state of your health along with anything else they can find fault with. So you’ll end up getting up before you go to bed to ensure you are perfectly coiffed and made up for tomorrow’s trip to the supermarket – you’ll have to watch what you eat , a mere waft of the steam from steamed vegetables will be all you will allow yourself for fear of putting on the ounces! The press will pick up on the tiniest increase in weight and there you are, in the public domaine . Happy ? I don’t see how.

It would be no good for me of that I’m sure – I’d have to get up too early to be coiffed and made up to an inch of my life – for then to take Millie the Golden Retriever for her walk. If I did manage it you can be sure that wind, rain, other weather effort or item of headgear would negate any previous effort! So stuff it , take me warts and all! I was once known to grab my leggings out of the laundry basket, put them on and go to the supermarket. So , you say – well on the way home I called at a friend’s house for a coffee. Whilst sitting talking, I looked at my leggings – and couldn’t work out why the was a welt at the bottom of each leg. After several seconds I realised I wasn’t wearing my leggings but my son,s pyjama bottoms!!! Imagine the media comments…………

This is where Miriam struck the chord – she was looking at the changing attitudes to weight in our society, it’s stigma and how it affects mental health. Amongst other things she spoke to children who were clearly overweight, young women who had undergone bariatric surgery and even a young fit and good looking man who had body dismorphia ( thinking he was his complete body opposite)

Miriam herself has always been overweight and admitted on camera whilst she likes her face but will look no further down as she doesn’t like what she is looking at . Hence her photo at the start of this blog which I think is beautiful. She wanted to know if losing all the weight following bariatric surgery made the women happier – and concluded that whilst they both felt the benefits of being thinner, whereas she was trapped in her fat body, they were trapped in their newly thin bodies.

As she said, body shape/form doesn’t make you happy. Happiness is to be found within. A truer statement couldn’t be spoken – unless we have inner happiness and peace with ourselves, we will never find external happiness. Mental health is as important an aspect of health management as is physical health and we all need to pay attention to our mental health .

I spoke in my introduction about issues that had distracted me in writing this blog – one of which had been the tragic death of Caroline Flack.

I didn’t know her but I was deeply saddened to hear that she was so desperate and so low , she took her own life. Any suicide is a terrible tragedy and it is no less important because the individual isn’t in the public eye- but her death brought to the fore, that too many individuals feel they can say what they like on social media to and about anyone and when and how they like , and yet remain anonymous. Worst of all, these low lives ( or cowards as they truly are – if you have something to say, then say it to my face) don’t know the people they are so cruelly affecting . Just because you see someone on Strictly Come Dancing, Love Island or singing on a stage doesn’t mean you know them or you are entitled to berate them. Only today I heard that Billy Eilish , who at 18 years of age is an exceptionally talented young woman ( not everyone gets to make the new Bond theme do they?), has had such horrible things said to and about her on Social Media that she had to stop reading it because it affected her so badly. What is the matter with people – come on, are people jealous of success or what? Would the perpetrators of this crime – because that’s what it is- want to deal with it if the boot was on the other foot? I suspect not. People in the public eye are as vulnerable as you or I – they have to get up in the morning, face the day whatever it may bring, handle relationships whether with friends, partners or whoever else, and then go to bed at night ready to do it all again in the morning. So let’s have a lot more thought for the people we see every day on our television screens, in our papers and magazines – if you can’t saying anything nice , you should say nothing at all.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind .

So until next time – Be kind , for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle .

Another year , and here we are again- St Valentine’s Eve! How do I know I hear you ask – aahh, it’s because the DB is furtively disappearing on mysterious shopping trips, hides himself away in his study with the door closed as if to say “Do not enter”, the credit card statement records ridiculous sums of pecuniary to the local florist ……keep on dreaming you lot…! The answer is no – St Valentines always occurs on February 14 th every year , and today surprisingly is 13 th February!!

Now if I wasn’t sure it was tomorrow, I saw in an online newspaper today, a young woman standing with all the “in trend” gear outside a very “up market” address. She was seemingly overawed by the arrival of a tow truck carrying a red Ferrari completely over run with red roses! Now I must admit, my first thought was “ ok so what’s he done?”……then my second thought was “ someone’s got more money than sense!!” Please don’t think I’m jealous- I am not. Firstly how on earth would I, a sixty something year old ruminating rambler, ever get out of such a vehicle ( should I be able to get into it in the first place), then should I manage to get in, how on earth would I know how to make it work ( have you seen the steering wheel of such a vehicle???) You see I’d need the DB to guide me and he’d never get out of it – well he’d never get in it in the first place!!!!

So much for fancy Valentine presents. I say – who needs them??? Well if I did – as Diana Ross famously sung “ I’m still waiting!”

Now, that’s not to say that I’ve been bereft of love tokens. Indeed the DB is famous ( or should that be infamous) for them ……………sporadically !!! The first Valentines Day spent together was , as you would expect, romantic ! Of course, I hear you say…, well , after a meal the night before THE day , we sat enjoying a bottle of wine. Suddenly the DB disappeared into the garage – reappearing with a single red rose ! “Happy Valentines Day” said he. Well I had clearly previously been deprived of Valentine’s Day gifts – so was slightly overwhelmed! “Wow – that’s so lovely” – Then I looked at the rose – there were two price labels on the cellophane, one £5.00 the other “ reduced to £2.50” – I looked at the DB ( well he was the B then – beloved) He could see what I had seen ( though as I know him now , I’m sure he left the two labels on, on purpose!) I suggested to him that some people might receive 12 red roses on such a day, though I was very happy with the one ! Before I could say anything more , he said “Well there were two others at the garage do you want me to go and get them?!!!”

So the next year arrived uneventfully, and there was great expectation- from the children, friends and work colleagues. What would he do next? So the day dawned and I was presented with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. I was quite overwhelmed- “Wow – thank you!” “ Well” said he “ I chose the flowers and they said the box of chocolates was free” ……….What can I say !!!!! Since then, precise memories of annual gifts are not clear ( which probably means either no Ferrari or no gift !!!!) although one year ( about fifteen years ago) is as clear as if it were yesterday! When I was working , I used to get up at 5.45 to walk our Golden Retriever before going to work. So February 14 th dawned and into the kitchen I went only to be astounded by a vase of red roses, the size of which I had never seen before! It was dark so completely overwhelmed, I took the dog out and when I came back counted the roses – 50 in total!!!! Now I should say , they were very tasteful artificial red roses- and I really couldn’t believe my eyes….So completely enamoured by this gesture, I made the Beloved ( to be honest I’m not sure when he progressed to being the DB!!) a cup of tea and took it up to him. “ Well you’ve completely blown me away” I said “I mean 50 red roses, I can’t believe it!!”

“ So you like them then?” said he.

“ I love them, thank you!”

“ Good” said he “ I’m really pleased” ……. “Well make the most of them, they’ve got to be back in our showroom ( oh I forgot to say the DB worked for a cane furniture company) for 9 o’clock!!!!!

Now, we talk about recycling a lot these days …………but whoever thought I’d be recycling red roses 🌹 The DB has been excused any such purchases since ….

I was allowed to keep 12 – don’t count, there are only ten here, who knows what happened to the other two! All I will say is red roses, red Ferrari – who cares which? Both are very lovely- but no gift is also completely okay. What matters is each and every day – I wouldn’t change my Valentine for all the tea in China . Well actually there is Yorkshire Tea ……now let me think….. OK still wouldn’t change him!!!!!

So to all of you tomorrow expecting wonderful gifts, don’t be disappointed if you don’t get what you think you want , look at what you’ve got and realise how lucky you are, and be thankful for it !

Whatever you’re doing I wish you all love and happiness on this St Valentine’s Day !

Until next time ……

So dear reader, not only have we entered a new year but also a new decade! I have no idea where this will take me but come along with me ( if you dare!) and we’ll find out.

After a lovely Christmas and following New Year celebrations, our decorations were down well before the due date of January 6 th! The lights were the first to be dismantled- no mean feat!

This oversized tree had been adorned its lights – goodness, I hear you cry , how many ladders and men ( not to mention hard hats, safety clips etc etc remembering my ruminations on Health and Safety….!!) do you need for that job? Do not fear – an apple picker with the DB at the end of it is all that is required ( oh and of course a sixty something year old rambler , walking round and round with the lights as and when instructed to!)! An apple picker you say ….

All this advertising, no wondering bloggers can make lots of money …..okay perhaps not yet , but it’s all in the planning stage don’t worry!

Well like it or not the twenties have begun, and in truth you find me in reflective mood and there are several things I’ve been waiting to share with you . Before Christmas I had been moved to tears when listening to the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 . He was interviewing fellow presenter Ken Bruce about his autistic son ( now aged 19 ) Murray. Murray has autism and is non verbal and apraxic ( he has difficulty in performing activities eg using a pen, knife and fork …) and his father spoke eloquently about their struggles. I was imagining what people meeting Murray for the first time would think- someone who doesn’t speak, well obviously they aren’t worth engaging with I mean what would you say to them, they have nothing to say. It would be like the “Does he take sugar?” scenario when giving a cup of tea to someone in a wheelchair and asking the parent, partner, carer if the individual in the chair takes sugar rather than the perfectly competent individual themselves! However far from it, Murray has as much to say as anyone else and this is when, dear reader, my heart burst. Murray may not be able to verbalise his thoughts but boy can he express himself. He uses a computer to communicate having taught himself to read and spell and now writes the most unbelievable poetry – the depth of which moved me to tears when his father read it live on the radio. Eek forgot tissue warning , sorry…..

Now you understand what I mean , and I think what really struck me was what would I have thought, had I met Murray before hearing this interview. I have always tried to be empathic but I know, whilst I wouldn’t have ignored Murray, I would perhaps have struggled with our interaction not quite knowing how to manage it. Not any more, I learnt so much on that day – some people may not be able to vocalise but it doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. In Murray’s words

“ I, and many people like me, have more to say than just by the voice alone.”

Thank you Murray is all I can say.

So again I began to ruminate on how judgemental we can all be – and I don’t put myself on a pedestal here. Whilst I try really hard not to be judgemental, it is part of human nature. I mean our ancestors, when out hunting back in the Stone Ages, would have had to judge on first viewing so to speak. No time to sit and chat before before a spear is thrown – rather do they look like friend or foe? Friend – that’s okay come on over. Foe- sorry ……….. So whilst judgement is in our nature, the present human race seems to have taken it to the extreme in my belief.

I mean take the DB and I for example – when we were last in Spain we visited our local curry emporium ( made the most of it too, now on our healthy eating plan such dishes are restricted – I learnt last evening that a chicken tikka masala has the equivalent fat content to 89 cocktail sausages ( I mean really …) Whilst there, our conversation was frequently interrupted by a loud, high pitched male voice from the other side of the restaurant. Well you can imagine what we thought – attention seeker, keep it down can’t you , and the rest – only to be levelled down to the size of borrowers as we exited the restaurant. The guy was deaf and had cochlear implants………..that judgement instinct again.

Instinct though it is , doesn’t make it right, does it. I remember a friend telling me about her cruise , and how there had been this old gentleman with a young blonde gold digger of a wife. Everyone was talking about them … and then of course someone got talking to them. His wife and he had been planning this cruise of a lifetime for many years …..and then six months before departure she died suddenly. His daughter stepped in to accompany her Dad to enable him to do what he and and her mother had so longed to do.

I remember when Kathleen and I were having lunch in Santiago de Compostela and talking to two girls on the next table about our respective Caminos , this same subject came up. On their path had been a couple – and whilst they met up with the husband at breakfast, his wife was always up and out early appearing to shun the camaraderie of the Camino. So the attitude of the others was a bit “ well if we’re not good enough”…….but then of course they discovered, she was carrying her daughter’s ashes on her own Camino. No more to say…..though I’m so pleased I gave you the tissue warning earlier!

So in my reflective mood , I determine to make an extreme effort to think before I make a judgement on someone . Take this morning for example, when some idiot woman driver pulled out in front of me without looking ……sorry – oh dear, never mind, everybody makes mistakes and who knows what had happened to her before she got behind the wheel of her car…….

Dear reader, I wish you good health and happiness for 2020 and hope you stay with me on my blog journey! Till next time …….

Christmas has come round again. Is it me , dear reader, or does time pass more quickly as the years go by? Well whatever, here we are again in a haze of sprouts ( mine have been simmering since October…. Sir Terry Wogan always said that was the way to cook them, so who am I to argue?!) , turkeys, presents, wrapping paper, carols …. just a minute what happened to carol singers ( and I don’t mean the lads that ring the doorbell, sing “O come all ye faithful” and whilst you’re waiting for “ Joyful and triumphant” , they put a pot in front of you in which they expect you to place coins… I don’t think so. Learn the whole carol then come back, and just maybe I’ll give you a glass of sherry and a mince pie! A sure way to deter further such visits!

This blog is going to be short … phew I hear you say, she can’t half ramble! No it is going to be short because the DB and I are going away for Christmas- don’t worry back to prepare dinner for 14 on Boxing Day in case you thought I’d completely lost it!

No, we’re going to the most junior offspring today and being treated to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Can’t wait, dear reader!

Though this wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share my thoughts on this years Christmas with you. I am delighted to say that the adults in our family decided not to buy presents for one another – we previously set a limit of £5 per person, so had £30 per couple to donate to a charitable cause of their choosing.

My midwife daughter in law bought toiletries and sanitary products for the homeless women of Leeds. The thought of anyone being on the street at any time fills me with horror but at this time of year …..words fail me. Apparently Women’s Services in Leeds have girls coming in with washing liquid to wash their hair…please? So the department asked for donations- an excellent cause!

At my Granddaughters nursery they were asking for gifts, selection boxes for children who attend there, but have nothing or very little at Christmas . So her Mum bought gifts and other bits for them. Regardless of why there is nothing for them, every child deserves a happy Christmas.

Oh dear, I’m thinking a tissue warning might have been in order here….sorry!

So down to me ( and the DB of course) and Emma , our eldest. She discovered a charity where she lives that provide a Christmas Dinner with gifts for young people leaving the care system. Lo and behold , they do this in Barnsley too . Now, I don’t know about you, but where do people go at Christmas ….? They go home ( ok I hear you cry not necessarily) – no of course not but most likely they have a choice. The likelihood of a child/ young adult in care having a family to go to is minimal. So I am delighted to say that we have bought hamper fillings for six young adults in Barnsley ( in and I am going to be on the steering group for this team of dedicated volunteers who want to try and make a difference to young peoples lives)

So as I sit here and write this I feel quite emotional, thinking how fortunate I am, my family are – the words of Away in a Manger bring tears to my eyes – so this Christmas please spare a thought for those in society who have very little, many through no fault of their own, and think how we can all try and make a difference in 2020. It is so easy to blame successive governments and councils – but if each of us did a little bit I know we could make a real difference!

( You’ll be glad the train isn’t going round – incessant Jingle Bells can grate on the nerves)

So Dear Reader, I wish you the happiest of Christmases and a healthy and happy 2020 and thank you for taking the time to read the ruminations of this sixty something rambling woman over the past months !

I’ll be back ….. probably next year !!!!

Take care ……

We have left our beautiful beach and wonky chimneys behind, dear reader, and travelled the 1356 miles back to our home here in the United Kingdom. Our journey takes us diagonally across Spain to the north west coast and then up the west coast of France to the amazing tunnel under the sea . We left our bolt hole with mixed emotions – sadness at leaving friends behind but happy to know we will see family and friends both en route and at the journey’s end. It has been a visit tinged with sadness – you may recall I wrote about our friend who died in the Summer : we felt her absence deeply- and also this visit included watching our dear friends having to make decisions and choices they would rather not have to make, on account of health and age. That is life though isn’t it? How easy it is to take our health and our years for granted – but how hard it is when both kick back and make their presence felt! Something none of us want to contemplate- but know at some point , we will all have to do!

Enough gloom I think for the moment – back to the journey! We have travelled this route many times and whilst it is long, the driving is pleasurable. We use the motorways ( and pay for the pleasure , particularly in France!!), but it means that on the whole the traffic is light. Now I don’t know if you have driven on the motorways in England , dear reader, but occasionally they have chevrons painted on the carriageway to remind drivers to keep a safe distance from the vehicle in front. help improve road safety. Now in France they have a far more sensible system on all the motorways- there is a broken white line at the edge of each carriageway, and signs advise you to keep two lines distance between you and the vehicle in front. So no sporadic painting of chevrons on chosen stretches of motorway required ( I recall driving on the M62 one year and finding chevrons on the carriageway but pointing the wrong way!………needless to say someone in the Highways Agency realised and had the mistake corrected!)

The other roadworthy tip we find useful in both France and Spain is that all roadworks are marked with yellow road markings – a simple but effective and clear way of alerting road users to drive with caution Sometimes it seems to me we have ignored the sensible ideas from across the Channel, and taken note of the not so sensible ones such as the dimensions of a cucumber and a banana. Whilst I’m on that subject –

tell me dear reader, how can these gnarled and knobbly tomatoes be allowed for sale ( they can’t possibly adhere to EU regulations!) I’ll tell you why – because they taste like a tomato should! Yet would they be for sale or eaten here in the UK – I doubt it, because here we have been brainwashed into believing that the appearance of our fruit and vegetables is more important than the taste!

Now I don’t want you to think I am against all rules and regulations laid down by the EU – I am not, but I do wonder how the said rules can be interpreted so differently by individual member states. I’m beginning to think the UK is the goody goody of the class- I wonder if Brexit ever happens (???), whether we will be able to buy wonky carrots from the supermarket without the need for them to tell us they’re wonky ………

Anyway once again I digress – but then you’re used to that( or should be!) by now!!! So we arrived home a week ago – friends had warned of the need for thermal vests and the like, but I have to say there is no better gradual acclimatisation than driving northward over three days ( we left temperatures of 24 degrees but gradually the temperature reduced to -1 at one point in France , so it was not such a shock on arrival here at 11 degrees)

One of the last shopping trips before we left Spain involved getting this little lady some more food.

I went to our usual pet shop and the owner chatted away – once again the weather was picking up and we were in for a spell of warmth again, how lovely it was, how lucky we’d been with the weather – I explained we were leaving at the end of the week and how close by to our home in England there had been terrible floods. He was immediately concerned and asked me if that was why I was going home? No, I explained, we were fortunate and had not been affected by them and were going home for Christmas with the family – “ah yes, of course – very special” He wished me a Happy Christmas and with a “ Buen viaje” and a “Hasta la proxima” ( Safe journey and see you next time !) we parted !

He is right though – and our friends in Spain know it too. The DB and I are blessed with a wonderful family – we know how lucky we are- and we treasure time spent with them all.

So until next time dear reader, I leave you with this!

“ My family are my greatest treasure – we are not perfect ( thank goodness) – but I love them with all my heart.”