Let 2020 begin…………

So dear reader, not only have we entered a new year but also a new decade! I have no idea where this will take me but come along with me ( if you dare!) and we’ll find out.

After a lovely Christmas and following New Year celebrations, our decorations were down well before the due date of January 6 th! The lights were the first to be dismantled- no mean feat!

This oversized tree had been adorned its lights – goodness, I hear you cry , how many ladders and men ( not to mention hard hats, safety clips etc etc remembering my ruminations on Health and Safety….!!) do you need for that job? Do not fear – an apple picker with the DB at the end of it is all that is required ( oh and of course a sixty something year old rambler , walking round and round with the lights as and when instructed to!)! An apple picker you say ….

All this advertising, no wondering bloggers can make lots of money …..okay perhaps not yet , but it’s all in the planning stage don’t worry!

Well like it or not the twenties have begun, and in truth you find me in reflective mood and there are several things I’ve been waiting to share with you . Before Christmas I had been moved to tears when listening to the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 . He was interviewing fellow presenter Ken Bruce about his autistic son ( now aged 19 ) Murray. Murray has autism and is non verbal and apraxic ( he has difficulty in performing activities eg using a pen, knife and fork …) and his father spoke eloquently about their struggles. I was imagining what people meeting Murray for the first time would think- someone who doesn’t speak, well obviously they aren’t worth engaging with I mean what would you say to them, they have nothing to say. It would be like the “Does he take sugar?” scenario when giving a cup of tea to someone in a wheelchair and asking the parent, partner, carer if the individual in the chair takes sugar rather than the perfectly competent individual themselves! However far from it, Murray has as much to say as anyone else and this is when, dear reader, my heart burst. Murray may not be able to verbalise his thoughts but boy can he express himself. He uses a computer to communicate having taught himself to read and spell and now writes the most unbelievable poetry – the depth of which moved me to tears when his father read it live on the radio. Eek forgot tissue warning , sorry…..

Now you understand what I mean , and I think what really struck me was what would I have thought, had I met Murray before hearing this interview. I have always tried to be empathic but I know, whilst I wouldn’t have ignored Murray, I would perhaps have struggled with our interaction not quite knowing how to manage it. Not any more, I learnt so much on that day – some people may not be able to vocalise but it doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. In Murray’s words

“ I, and many people like me, have more to say than just by the voice alone.”

Thank you Murray is all I can say.

So again I began to ruminate on how judgemental we can all be – and I don’t put myself on a pedestal here. Whilst I try really hard not to be judgemental, it is part of human nature. I mean our ancestors, when out hunting back in the Stone Ages, would have had to judge on first viewing so to speak. No time to sit and chat before before a spear is thrown – rather do they look like friend or foe? Friend – that’s okay come on over. Foe- sorry ……….. So whilst judgement is in our nature, the present human race seems to have taken it to the extreme in my belief.

I mean take the DB and I for example – when we were last in Spain we visited our local curry emporium ( made the most of it too, now on our healthy eating plan such dishes are restricted – I learnt last evening that a chicken tikka masala has the equivalent fat content to 89 cocktail sausages ( I mean really …) Whilst there, our conversation was frequently interrupted by a loud, high pitched male voice from the other side of the restaurant. Well you can imagine what we thought – attention seeker, keep it down can’t you , and the rest – only to be levelled down to the size of borrowers as we exited the restaurant. The guy was deaf and had cochlear implants………..that judgement instinct again.

Instinct though it is , doesn’t make it right, does it. I remember a friend telling me about her cruise , and how there had been this old gentleman with a young blonde gold digger of a wife. Everyone was talking about them … and then of course someone got talking to them. His wife and he had been planning this cruise of a lifetime for many years …..and then six months before departure she died suddenly. His daughter stepped in to accompany her Dad to enable him to do what he and and her mother had so longed to do.

I remember when Kathleen and I were having lunch in Santiago de Compostela and talking to two girls on the next table about our respective Caminos , this same subject came up. On their path had been a couple – and whilst they met up with the husband at breakfast, his wife was always up and out early appearing to shun the camaraderie of the Camino. So the attitude of the others was a bit “ well if we’re not good enough”…….but then of course they discovered, she was carrying her daughter’s ashes on her own Camino. No more to say…..though I’m so pleased I gave you the tissue warning earlier!

So in my reflective mood , I determine to make an extreme effort to think before I make a judgement on someone . Take this morning for example, when some idiot woman driver pulled out in front of me without looking ……sorry – oh dear, never mind, everybody makes mistakes and who knows what had happened to her before she got behind the wheel of her car…….

Dear reader, I wish you good health and happiness for 2020 and hope you stay with me on my blog journey! Till next time …….